I’ve always thought that lenders and borrowers must be  the nicest people. Lending your stuff to your friends can take a great deal of trust and generosity, but it brings rewards. Knocking on my neighbour’s door to ask for a splash of milk for a work man’s coffee led to a 2o year friendship. When we bought our first house, we bought a paint stripper, but a neighbour lent us a wallpaper stripper. She pointed out (quite sensibly) that as  we were planning to paint the entire house, we’d never use it again. She saved us a lot of money and in return we lent her a power sander when she renovated her spare room. As they say “what goes around, comes around”. Borrowing and lending were once the norm, they still are in many communities, but as we become busier, it does seem much simpler to go out an buy what we need rather than ask. In this way, we become laden down with “stuff” we hardly use, not great for our wallets and perhaps part of the reason more of us are renting storage units for all the paraphernalia we can’t fit in our homes.

I’ve lent things to friends in the past and been disappointed when books, clothes or DIY tools never find their way home.  But these occasions are rare. I’ve discovered that a culture of sharing leads to a feeling of community and belonging. What psychologists call “social glue”.  It feels good to share and be shared with.  Some of my favourite meals have been the “bring a dish” kind, where everyone contributes and there’s rarely a lack of delicious things to eat or drink. Believe me, if you turn up to a party with a bottle of home made sloe gin, home brewed beer or an enormous cake you will be popular!

When I was pregnant, I discovered a whole culture of lending in my local NCT group. The same “smart dress” and winter coat would be passed from original owner to Mum to Be, worn, dry cleaned and returned. It seemed so sensible to me. Later, when my daughter was born, we discovered the joys of our local  toy library, where she could choose any toy she liked, bring it home and return it when she tired of it.

Mr T has also indulged in a fair bit of informal lending and borrowing, tools from a neighbour, bike bits, DIY essentials. He’s also a generous book lender – but if you forget to return – he’ll strike you off the Christmas list. If someone trusts you enough to lend you something, respect it and return it. The art of lending is a skill. Make it clear (nicely) that the item is only for loan. I usually find “Let me know when you’re bringing that book back and I’ll bake a cake” can be a gentle hint to an errant borrower!

The culture of sharing seems to be growing as we all realise the benefits and many of us seek to live a life with less “stuff”. Here’s a list of some of my favourite “formal shares”. Some you’ll know already, but check out the others. You may  be surprised where borrowing can take you.

1. Libraries. If you haven’t been to your local library in a while, you may be pleasantly surprised. Our local library offers CDs, DVDs, and magazines in addition to books (and also a great selection of ebooks).
2. Toy libraries. Great places to meet other families, borrow toys and test out your toddlers “dream toy” before parting with cash. The National Association of Toy Libraries can help you find your nearest.
3. Car shares. There are lots of car share schemes across the UK, Europe and the US. Type “car share” into any search  engine to find them or check out the Sustrans website for more information on how they work. And don’t forget bike share. Most big cities have bikes you can hire and some even have bike clubs where you can borrow from cycling enthusiasts.
4. Tool share schemes and sites like Streetbank are great places to find stuff to borrow and in return you can offer things to share with your community (you’ll need to register first).
5. Share your home with home swap sites such as  Air B&B, home swap and house exchange. Or  why not  offer your home to friends when you go on holiday so they can enjoy a cheap weekend away – a fabulous way to find a house sitter without the expense – just fill your fridge with goodies as a thank you!
6. There are plenty of other sites, such as Borroclub, where you can hire items for a small fee and national chains of tool hire companies where you can hire anything from a power drill to a cement mixer by the day. These may be an option if you can’t borrow from a friend or neighbour and don’t want to invest in an expensive purchase.

Lastly, don’t forget the one resource we all have that be shared infinitely and with anyone.

Time. Taking a few minutes to help a stranger (that parent struggling to get through a cafe door with a pram for example) or stopping to chat to a neighbour all add up. Mr T had to call on a huge number of our friends to help us build a new  stable one weekend (I know, such middle class problems!) and in return he has cleared lofts, helped to paint windows, build a bunk bed and dig a pond. Sharing time brings many rewards. My village is lucky enough to have a Timebank, where people share time and skills without any expectation of payment and reward. In the 20 years we’ve lived here it has been a “lifesaver”. I’ve walked dogs, collected prescriptions and delivered a neighbour’s Christmas cards. In return I’ve had lifts to hospital appointments, babysitting, greenhouse watering and even art lessons for free! If the idea of sharing time  appeals to you, check out the national Timebank website for details of your nearest. or even consider setting one up for yourself.

Borrowing, lending, sharing. Whatever you call it and however you do it feels good. Try it for yourself x

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